Joseph Green: Mushroom Lady & Me, at House of Maximon

He is effortlessly funny. He is a good yarn spinner, who can make the seemingly mundane highly amusing.

This is a guy who spent 18 years to obtain his law degree. We never find out why it took him that long, but there it is.

And his first job after leaving law school was as Associate to a judge in the Supreme Court of Victoria.

And his first case, that of Erin Patterson.

She went on to be convicted of three counts of murder and one of attempted murder for lacing a beef wellington with death cap mushrooms.

Green talks of their first meeting at the pre-trial, when she asked him for a glass of water and their hands met around the glass when he was handing it to her.

Occurring, as it did, on Valentine’s Day, he makes it sound like a romantic interlude after she praised him for the tenderness of his fingers and he did likewise to her.

Green tells us that he had just gone through a breakup a fortnight before, so, as a result, the interlude had extra significance.

All, of course, is said in jest. He has a way of magnifying situations to be more than they were at the time and with it bringing a surfeit of laughs.

In this case, Green said he wished Patterson good luck, which, as a servant of the court, one should never say, but he was still green (pun fully intended).

That sets the tone for what is to follow.

Green acknowledges that wasn’t his first time in court.

That was six or seven years earlier, after he had accumulated 12 demerit points for his driving and, as a result, had his licence suspended, however he didn’t realise.

I say that because he had moved addresses, but failed to notify VicRoads.

Therefore, he never received the letter informing him.

His case came up immediately after legal proceedings involving George Pell, accused of child sex offences and, accordingly, the courtroom was packed.

It is an amusing anecdote about how these circumstances played into his hands.

Green comments about the lack of diversity in the courts and about a failed attempt to introduce a Welcome to Country because it is considered too performative.

That while primarily old white men (and, more recently, old white women) wear wigs and gowns.

He talks about the lack of humour among the judiciary and how his boss, the judge, mistook the wording of a well-dressed 80-year-old looking to be excused from jury duty.

There is also a comic episode involving him standing alongside the judge when answering a question from a member of a school group.

The year 10 student’s opener to the pair was not “Judge” or “Your Honour”, but “Bro”.

Green also reflects upon his lack of smarts when swearing in the jury in the Erin Patterson murder trial.

He winged the prologue and epilogue to the incredulity of learned members of the court.

What follows is the aftermath of a recommendation from tipstaff (being a member of the judge’s personal chambers) that Green go to clown school in Paris.

After dwelling on the idea, Green decided to do so, but then he had to tell the judge and that didn’t exactly go down smoothly.

The judge didn’t buy Green’s explanation that it was a “prestigious” clown school.

Nor was there recognition on the judge’s part when Green started drawing upon one of Sasha Baron Cohen’s funny voices.

In any case, Green did leave and didn’t see out the Erin Patterson trial.

He subsequently tells a couple of ribald stories.

One involves a confrontation with a naked man in sneakers and the other a salacious dating tale, after his return from clown school, concerning a Reiki healer.

Mushroom Lady & Me has a truly bizarre ending, which is undoubtedly a surprise, but nor am I convinced that it is necessary or all that humorous.

Still, Joseph Green is a natural … in his element in front of a crowd – pushing, embellishing, provoking.

Some of his 45-minutes of material is certainly blue, but it remains funny stuff, delivered with ease (apart from that ending).

He is on at House of Maximon, Level 1, 16-18 Corrs Lane in the city, as part of the Melbourne International Comedy Festival.

His last show is 19^th April, 2026.