Somebody to Love (M) – 97 minutes

He is a 40-year-old high school teacher and she is a furniture restorer, aged 35.

He has an ex-wife and a young daughter.

She has just extricated herself from a relationship with a married man who promised to leave his wife … or has she?

It is their first date. 

She has invited him over for a home-made dinner with her signature dish. He has brought wine … and condoms.

Each has with them – in their heads – a Greek chorus (four male mates for him and four female friends for her).

These “voices” are constantly arguing with one another about what to say and do, and how far to go, or not.

There are awkward moments and false steps, but is there real connection?

Will these two get together in a biblical sense and, further, will he stay over?

That is the concept behind writer and director Paolo Genovese’s romantic comedy Somebody to Love, which gets inside the minds of the protagonists.

Insecurities are exposed, as Genovese asks how many aspects of our character do we have to deal with before reaching a decision? How many inner battles must take place?

I think it is about time I named the couple. Lara is playfully realised by Pilar Fogliati, while Piero, a role filled by Edoardo Leo, must decide when to make a move. 

Notwithstanding the game playing, Somebody to Love drove me bananas because it took ages to get to where I fully expected it to land.

I am sure there will be those who will appreciate its European sensibilities, but a short, rather than a feature, would have done me just fine.

There is simply not enough substance here for a 97-minute film.

Members of the Greek choruses not seeing eye to eye on anything – deciphering every action and each word spoken – was not only repetitive, but wearing. And how! It started to eat away at my sanity.

Spoiler alert: it took an hour of my life for them to kiss.

I didn’t mind the concept, but a few more curve balls (there was really only one) wouldn’t have gone astray. In fact, they would have been welcome.

My criticism is not about the performances (although I did warm to Fogliati more than to Leo). Rather, it is about the lacklustre and lacking script.

I hope you enjoy Somebody to Love more than I did.

Rated M, it scores a 5½ out of 10.